Thanks to dear sweet Emily at the tender age of 4
on the 29th day of December in the year 1999
I now have an epitaph...

Here's the story. Emily was opening her Christmas presents and having a grand old time. She got to the last one which was a big box containing a doll. You know the kind...hermetically sealed with all sorts of ties and wires holding the doll in place so she'll look perfect in the box? Her mother started to help her open it but she had other ideas. She practically threw it at me and declared:

"Let's give it to Joey! She's a big strong girl with some sense!"

Hysterical. We all nearly died laughing. And, then I realized: no need to look any further...I had me an epitaph.