Joanna the Imp
joanna.org

August 29, 2007

Part of a phone conversation I had yesterday evening:

Me: So, what did you have for dinner?

Her: Beef nachos.

Me: Did you make them or get them somewhere? Were they good?

Her: I made them. They were good. I made them last night, actually.

Me: How did you do the beef? [I was wondering if she'd used ground beef or fajita meat or something else.]

Her: I used turkey.

Me: Turkey???? Those aren't beef nachos. Those are turkey nachos.

Her: They're called beef nachos.

Me: Oh. Beef nachos: hold the beef, add turkey!

I laughed so hard. I loved it.

. . . .

In and of itself, that's a pretty good story. But, it gets better.

I have a very dear friend who's extremely ill...suffering the horrible ravages of Parkinson's Disease. It just breaks your heart. He's in and out of awareness. Mostly out. But, he has moments of lucidity. It really makes you marvel at the human brain. One moment he'll be on a trek to the North Pole and the next he'll be asking if you've had your dinner yet. Last night, I was visiting him and his family and he called to me from the bedroom. He was asleep when I got there so I was a little surprised to discover he knew I was there. And, I don't think I'd really had a conversation with him in about a week or so. But, he called so I went in to see what he needed. He just wanted a hug. Well, hell! I can do that. So, we hugged and I held his hand and he asked about my parents so I gave him a quick update. And, then I related the above conversation to him. And, he laughed. It was so great to hear him laugh. So...thanks, Jennie. Ya done good with your not-so-beefy "beef" nachos.

August 13, 2007

So. I'm curious. Situation: I take something in to be serviced and am told that there will be a $50 diagnostic fee. I am under the impression that the $50 will go toward repair if I have a repair done otherwise, I'm out $50. Is that the way you expect this sort of thing to work? That's how a diagnostic fee has always worked in my experience.

Alas, things did not work out that way this morning at the Leif Johnson Ford service department.

The headlight on the driver's side of my Focus was not getting enough power to actually work. It was barely giving off 10 watts (if that) of light. I'd tried replacing the bulb (twice) and swapping out fuses. To no avail. It was acting as though the ground wire was loose. I could not find any sort of ground wire coming off the back of the assembly and had no way to really test the matter so took my car into the shop. The service manager first asked if I'd used "lowly" non-Ford branded bulbs from some fly-by-night auto parts store like AutoZone or O'Reilly's. I can't begin to characterize the contempt in his voice for AutoZone and O'Reilly's in print. But...yes, I had purchased non-Ford bulbs. In fact, a different brand of bulb from each of those chains. When the bulb from O'Reilly's did not work, I tried a Sylvania bulb from AutoZone. Those bulbs, he informed me, probably weren't really strong enough. I told him I thought it was a ground problem. That's when he told me there would be a $49.95 diagnostic feel. So, I told him to go ahead and I'd wait. It didn't seem worth the trip to go to work and then back to the shop if it was just a bad bulb. Which, of course, it wasn't.

The entire headlamp assembly had to be replaced. The reflective surface had started to melt and the wiring could no longer make a good connection to ground. The service manager said I probably hadn't installed the bulb properly. I'm 95% sure that the original bulb burnt out because of the defect in the design of the reflective surface...that it had dripped on the bulb, causing that original bulb to burn out, but I no longer had the bulb to prove my point. Also, please note that the reflective coating on the passenger side (which I have not touched) is also starting to show the same sort of damage. But, it's not as severe. And, the service manager said it's not the same at all. Whatever. So, I had the assembly replaced. The car is long out of warranty and I didn't see the point in arguing about it because I already know Ford's not going to budge on this one. Nevermind the fact that I've replaced halogen bulbs on Ford cars at least 10 times in the last 15 years and I know what I'm doing. It's so frustrating dealing with those people.

After paying the outrageous bill, I went to work. After lunch I looked at the bill a bit more closely. $49.95 for the diagnostic fee. $98 for labor. $170-ish for the new assembly. $30 for taxes, fees, and miscellaneous. What? The diagnostic fee did not go toward the repair? And, I was apparently charged for 2 hours of labor on top of that? So, I called the service department and asked to speak to the service manager who'd "assisted" me earlier. Nope, he informed me...the diagnostic fee does not go toward the repair. And, that was not 2 hours of labor...only 1. Charged at $98. I guess it's my own damn fault for not asking for clarification on the diagnostic fee thing. Everyone I've spoken to about it at work, though, says that they expect a diagnostic fee to go toward the repair if you end up getting the repair done. So, does that mean I'd have had to pay the diagnostic fee plus $98 (minimum 1-hour labor charge) plus the cost of a fancy-schmancy Ford-brand bulb if it had only been the bulb? What a scam.

I really need to get rid of that money pit. I so enjoyed that car for the first 4 years I owned it. For the last 18 months or so, though, it's been a pile of cow dung.

Epilog. I decided to make an appointment with the Honda saleswoman who's been calling me. "I'll just go ahead and order a new Fit and be done with it," I thought. So, I called Howdy Honda and asked to speak with her. "She doesn't work here anymore," said the receptionist. She called me last week...on Monday or Tuesday. Sigh. I cannot get a break. Anyone know any decent Honda salesmen (or saleswomen) in the Austin area?

August 9, 2007

I was just listening to my iPod. As I am wont to do. And, "Ever Get Around To It" by Carter Wood came on. And, like it does every time I hear it, it made me think of Bruce and Marge. They both worked in the department when I started. Marge got sick a few years after I started and passed away a short time later. It feels like I knew her for years and years but I really didn't. Bruce worked 'til he retired 3 or 4 years ago and then he stayed on part-time until he died unexpectedly a couple of years ago. Marge always played surrogate mom to the grad students. And, to some of us on staff. I'd complain that my bangs needed cutting and she'd grab her scissors...those horrible dull things that were purchased on State Contract...and threaten to chop them off herself. She was from South Dakota and smoked like a chimney. As they say. Bruce was from Canada and loved to dance. And, he loved folks music he hosted one of the most successful (if not the most successful) house concert series ever. And, I didn't know any of that for years and years. He never talked about that stuff at work. Bruce and Marge were great friends. One of their jokes revolved around the "Round Tuits" that one of them bought. I think it was Marge...on one of her trips back home. If either of them ever heard the phrase "when I can get around to it" out would come the wooden coin with the words "Round Tuit" burned on 'em and they'd hand it over: "Here you go...now do it!" Hilarity. It makes me smile. And, every time I hear that Carter Wood song, it makes me think of them. And, it makes me smile. But, it also makes me a little sad.

. . . .

Aside #1. Here's a link to a company that sells round tuits...just in case you need some.

Aside #2. That "Carter Wood" link up there is a link to a CD Baby page where you can buy her CD. I tried to link to Carter's web page (www.carterwood.com) but it's just a blank page now. I have no idea if she's left the business or what. Anyway, if you have RealAudio installed, you can hear a clip of the song I'm writing about on a Puremusic page. By the way, I'm pretty sure the first time I heard the song was after Bruce had that fatal heart attack.

August 4, 2007

It's been nearly two months since last I updated. Why is that? I dunno. I have updated my photo and baseball blogs. But, nothing here. And, Esther pointed out to me that I really needed to do something about that. But, what to do? Well, there's the whole car thing. I really need to get a new car. Or at least, a car that's not the car I have now. 'Cause the car I have now has turned into a money pit. Which really sucks. The problem is, this is the car I want:

[Honda Fit]

And, you know what? You can't buy a Honda Fit these days. You can order one. And, if you're lucky, it'll get here in 2 or 3 months. I checked with CarMax. They have two. In the whole country. One's in California. The other is in North Carolina. They're selling the used ones for nearly "new sticker" price with a $600 charge to bring the car to Austin. So, no point in doing that. Sigh. I guess I'm gonna have to order one.

I did that once before. Order a car. It was my Explorer. And, when it came, I loved it. I had to wait 3 or 4 weeks. Maybe 2 or 3 months won't seem so long. Of course, that all supposes the Focus (which I used to love before it went south on me last year and turned into a money pit) will limp along until the new car gets here. Sigh...

What to do?

June 10, 2007

Dueling phone messages. I got home from work on Wednesday to find my answering machine blinking away. Five messages! I rarely have more than 1 or 2 messages waiting for me when I get home so this was unusual. The last three cracked me up so I went to all the effort to convert them to MP3 and then figure out how to get them to play via a little Flash player for you. You do have to have Flash installed in order to hear these.

The first of the messages in questions was from my dad (please note the time-stamp):

The second was from my mom (again, note the time-stamp):

And, the last was from my dad (don't forget to note the time-stamp):

Dad told me he called then heard Mom (in another room) leaving the message she left. So, that prompted the 3rd message. Heh.

May 13, 2007

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

Since it's Mother's Day, I'm gonna talk about my mama. Jennie and I went out to Bastrop today and took her to a nice (late) lunch at Daddy's Grill. Then we sat around and chatted for a bit. 'Twas a nice day. At least, I had a good time. I hope the lady of the hour did as well. Anyway...

Mom's playing one of those silly games that go 'round the net from time to time. She was "tagged" by one of her artist friends and was supposed to tell seven things about herself that no one knows. I feel compelled to take exception to a couple of things on her list. I mean, many of those things are things that anyone who reads her blog on a regular basis already knows. C'mon. #4 and #7? People who read her page know those things.

I'm feeling compelled to add to the list. I don't think a lot of people she's met around the web or in the last few years know that...

Ah well...just thinking out loud. Happy Mother's Day, Mom! 'Love you.

March 22, 2007

[I don't think I ever uploaded this...sorry!]
I volunteered to take some papers to the Main building this afternoon. None of our student workers are around and I was copying files from one PC to another. My mind wasn't been taxed too heavily. So, I volunteered. For some reason, I remembered to take my iPod with me. I never remember to take it until I'm already half-way to my destination. Today, though. Ha! And, boy was I glad! As I got going, "Come" by Fleetwood Mac started playing. Now that is a good song to walk around to. I got to the Tower in near record time. Then, while wandering around trying to find the office I needed, I listened to "What Did I Do" by Nathan McEuen. Gail sent me a CD sampler she bought at a house concert he did. Good song. And, kind of appropriate for someone wandering around a big building. I thought I knew where I was going but once I walked up four flights of stairs only to find the wrong offices, I was not too happy. So, back down...then up the other side. Sigh. Then, "Like a Rolling Stone" by Bob Dylan was playing as I started back. And, for some reason I remembered Joyce Dougherty...who I knew in high school. She also went to UT. We ran into each other right there by the Tower a couple of times my Freshman year...back in 1981. Wow. I hadn't thought about her in ages. And, she just popped into my head. I've walked past that area of campus plenty of times without harking back to the dark ages. Dunno why it hit me today. Was it Dylan? Heh. And, then, as I got close to the office: "I Want to be Your Girlfriend" by Mary Chapin Carpenter which just makes me smile. No matter what I'm doing.

Later on, I took the How Smart am I? test and got 25 of 25 questions correct. Which supposedly makes me smarter than 98.93% of the rest of the people who took the test. I don't think that's really true, though. It just means I did better than 98.93% of the people who took the test. Surely there are plenty of people smarter than me who took the test and got a question or two (or more) wrong. Doncha think?
Update (May 16). I got a note from my mom saying she'd taken the test so I thought I'd take it again...just to see if I would still score 25/25 or if I'd lost some of my gray matter (no doubt that is happening). And, I did score another 25/25. But, my percentage score went up to 99.23%. Hmmmm...

March 18, 2007

My hair's been bothering me for a few months now. It's been way too long. It was so long that it was getting caught in the door of the car when I'd get in. I'd pull on it every time I carried a bag over my shoulder. It was generally a tangled mess. So, when I started thinking about my trip a couple of weeks ago, I started dreading getting on a plane with all that hair. And, what about carrying a heavy bag? That would really pull at the hair. So, I went in to get it chopped off. I figured I could get enough cut off that I could donate it to Locks of Love and still have what was left fall below my shoulders. So, that's what I told the stylist I wanted to do. "Oh," she commented, "they require 10 inches if you want to donate it." I was pretty sure I had more than enough to do what I wanted but told her to go ahead and cut off a little more if she needed to do so in order to get 10 inches. And, so she set about her job. She made a pony tail, whacked it off, and set it on the counter in front of us. It looked like quite a bit more than 10 inches to me but...whatever. So, she went about straightening things up and when she was done, my hair was very short. It bobbed around above my shoulders. Hmmmm...

But, it was okay. Shorter than I wanted. I couldn't make a pony tail with it anymore. But, it would grow. So, she put the pony tail in a bag for me and away I went. When, I got home, though, I had to measure. I had to see. 'Cause, clearly, it was more than 10 inches. And, lo:

[my hair]

Yep. 18 inches. She cut off almost twice as much as she needed to cut! What do you think? Should I take a ruler to the woman so she can figure out just how long 10 inches is? Nah, probably not. I'm over it. And, in another month or two, my hair will be as long as I wanted it when I went in. It does grow, doncha know? Heh.

It's funny. It startles some people. And others, mostly of the male pursuasion, don't seem to notice at all. And, let me tell you, it's a big change. I don't think I've had hair this short in nearly 20 years. Most people that notice ask if I donated the hair. Which strikes me as kind of odd. That's a rather personal question, doncha think? But, then, I'm not one for asking questions like that. I never presume to touch someone's belly when I see a pregnant woman. But, you see (and hear about) that sort of behavior all the time. So, who am I to say what's personal and what's not? The times, they are a-changin' and I'm (apparently) just an old-fashioned kinda gal when it comes to that sort of thing.

February 22, 2007

The first entry in today's Campus Watch report made me laugh out loud:

Public Intoxication (Frank Erwin Special Events Center)
During the Texas vs. Texas Tech basketball game a UT student attempted to enter the building without a valid ticket. After being turned away at the main entrance the subject attempted to push his way past an usher assigned to the entrance. The subject was stopped by the UT police officer. During the investigation, the officer detected a moderate odor of alcohol on the subject's breath and observed that the subject was slurring his speech. The officer noted that the subject's demeanor would quickly change from calm and indifferent to agitated, then the subject would begin to cry. During many of the subject's tirades he would scream profanities and lash out, emulating a Texas Tech coach. The subject was taken into custody for Public Intoxication and transported to Central Booking. Occurred on: 2-20-07, at 9:00 PM.

Now, I realize, some (many?) of you don't know the identity of the current head coach at Texas Tech. So, you probably won't see anything there to make you laugh. But, the rest of us can appreciate the entry. I salute the person who wrote it!

February 12, 2007

I hadn't posted one of these in a quite some time. I dunno why this one tickled my fancy so. There are Public Intoxication reports in pretty much every Campus Watch report. Particularly the Monday reports. What with them coming out right after the weekend. Ah well, here you go...

From today's Campus Watch crime report:

Public Intoxication (600 Block, Colorado Street)
A UT police officer observed a UT student staggering, attempting to navigate the contours of a straight sidewalk. This challenge proved to be too great. The officer stopped the subject and asked her for her ID. The student handed the officer a five dollar bill and told him that all of her information was there. The officer informed the subject that he did not believe she was Abraham Lincoln and again asked for her ID. The student handed the officer her purse and asked the officer to look for it since she could not find it. The officer located two valid Texas drivers' licenses, one issued to the subject and the other issued to an older friend. The subject began crying, telling the officer that she was a bad person. During the investigation the officer detected a very strong odor of alcohol on the student's breath and noted that she needed the support of a stationary wall. The subject was taken into custody for Public Intoxication and transported to Central Booking. Occurred on: 2-09-07, at 2:00 AM.

Poor thing. She's a bad person.

January 16, 2007

It's cold in Austin. I have photographic evidence:

[frozen berries]

That photo was taken a few hours ago in my patio. Brrrr... I posted a few more photos on my photo blog in case you're interested.

December 19, 2006

Oh. My. Goodness. Go take a look at my brother's web site. Wow. It's like pulling teeth to get him to show his photos to us. And, now this. Wow. Way cool! It's flash-based so might be bothersome on a slow connection and you can't link directly to a particular photo if you want to point one out to someone but...wow...great photos.

Jennie commented this evening that if she gets married she'll have built-in photographers with me and Larry around. I think she needs to stick with him. He's blown past my meager attempts!

Also...look at the date. Our grandmother turned 90 today. Another way cool!

joanna@joanna.org
URL: http://www.joanna.org/archive/Dec2006-Aug2007.html
Last updated: August 29, 2007